Just in time for the holiday season, here are some hygienic holiday gift ideas* for the “person who has everything.” The good news is, these gifts are FREE – because you can’t actually purchase them from us. But we hope the gift ideas will serve up a small portion of cheer or even inspire a chuckle – something all of us could use more of right now.

Happy Holidays from Words and Pictures.

*Gifts are not actually for sale.

MATCHING MASK AND GLOVE SET

Protectorize while you accessorize.

9-FOOT TAPE MEASURE

For when 6-feet is not enough.

SANITIZER GIFT SET

For the person who has everything

(and needs to sanitize all of it).

NO SWEAT SWEATPANTS

Featuring odor-free fabric

(that needs no washing for 3 months)!

PRE-SANITIZED CHEESEO’S BAGS

No wipedown needed!

(All you have to worry about is the orange aftermath.)

NO-FIT PUZZLE

There’s one piece of the puzzle that never fits!

(It’ll keep you occupied through the entire dark winter.)

HANDS-FREE DOOR KNOB

Programmed to open by voice command!

(If the door jams, stream it a Barry White song.)

STRIP-AWAY SHOE SOLES

Walk through the front door germ-free!

(Just peel off those soles and leave the germs outside.)

PAPER GOOD(S) SAMARITAN

Buy a truckload of toilet paper!

(And, instead of hoarding it – share it with your neighbors.)